Wednesday, 21 June 2017

Sunday Summary Whereyabeen Wednesday | We skipped the light fandango

Dear FOQ

Happy 🐪🐫Day!

Minor and fairly insincere apologies for the delay in posting this blog this fortnight: life interfered. But that's never a bad thing. Well, sometimes it is. But not on this occasion.

So that's nice.

However, I have been uncharacteristically remiss in taking photographs whilst living said life, so crucial visual embellishments sadly, do not exist; I'll try to do better on that front again from hereon in.

(But surely it's better to be in the moment enjoying it, than on the periphery shooting it, right?)



This fortnight, I have mostly been ...

Reading 📚

{Walking Away | Simon Armitage}
and rereading

{The Handmaid's Tale | Margaret Atwood}
Well, sorta ...

... because, and I'm quite pleased about this, my attention has been diverted back into ...

Writing ✍

... or at least filling some epic plot holes

in a story I've been plotting for, like, ever (or for at least four years).

Still. I maintain that this is a worthy momentary distraction from reading.

On some level.

Watching 👀📺

OK, I feel like I'm going against everything I've been anticipating for months but:


... has lost its course.

Which is really, really quite sad.

So, confession time: I'd drafted the MUTHA (i.e. The Gloria Mendoza) of Long Posts lamenting Season 5 and all its flaws and then I thought to myself:

I will however flag up my grievances in bullet-point list form (with SPOILERS APLENTY so be warned):
  • Five episodes alone set in one evening. Long and drawn out, much?
  • Too many night-based scenes = can't always see what's going on
  • The perpetually lamentable absence of Poussey (this series needed Samira Wiley – too bad The Handmaid's Tale has snaffled her and she's doing a supreme job therein.)
  • The sudden and, seemingly, unexplained disappearance of Sophia (well, OK, her disappearance may have been legitimately explained but I was too bored by the five-episode night scene at that point to pay attention, probably)
{Oh so that's where she went?! OK then!}
  • Not enough Norma.
  • Too much Judy King. YAWN.
  • Too many 'newish' characters to keep track of and care about (Helen? Pidge? Ouija? Brandy? Who now?).
  • Plausibility: all those mobile phones that kept running for two days in a row without chargers. That prison must have some quality wifi as well if Flaritza were able to keep uploading YouTube videos of themselves.
  • See also: the guard whose insulin was taken away during the very public Squat and Cough still managed not to go into any sort of diabetic crisis after potentially 48 hours without it. How?
  • The talent show. Pointless. Just expedite the narrative already.
  • Slightly conflicting backstories (or maybe I've just forgotten them): Janae and Taystee in particular (and don't make me rewatch the entire series to fill in the gaps and prove myself wrong ... oh OK then I probably will and it's all your fault)
{Looks like Cindy and Taystee really want me to watch it
all from the beginning. Amiright, ladies?}
  • Credibility: Frieda's bunker. Again, how?!?!
  • Also, Humps' fingertip. Srsly. The prison nurse hadn't even been kidnapped by Leanne and Angie by then (at least I don't think he had). He honestly didn't notice that his partially paralysed patient was missing part of his finger? COME ON. 
  • Doggett and her attachment to Coates. So, so wrong. Don't do this to yourself, Pennsatucky.
  • Too much fixation on toilets and grim bodily functions. Everybody poops. We get it. Being locked in a portaloo is bad. We get it. Now, can we try and reclaim the gravitas of this series please?! 💩
  • And finally ... nobody noticed the honking great hole in the peripheral fence?!
So many questions.
Somebody Needs to Get a Life. (I'm referring, of course, to myself.) 🤓

... That's not to say the cast are not absolutely superb (and not just at posting adorable selfies on Instagram). They really are; they make these characters lovable, and they were working with some astoundingly sub-par narrative arcs this season and yet still managed to pull some blinding and touching performances out of the bag (oh hello Danielle "Taystee" Brooks, I mean you).

* I know, I know, it's all inconsequential.

But now I've run out of Big Bang Theory episodes to watch on Netflix, what else can I obsess over?!

Oh, that's right:

The Handmaid's Tale

Certainly not a series that can be binge-watched but compelling nonetheless. And, Anna T, as you'll see, you've inspired me to re-read it.

Also, watching from the beginning:

How I Met Your Mother

And about two fifths of Dirty Dancing 2017



that even Nicole Shirt-slinger can't save it (as the token Person Who Can Sort of Dance).

And I like Scherzy so that's saying something.

If you hold the 1987 classic in any way sacred, avoid this heinous remake at all costs.

And somebody please remind Abigail Breslin how good she was in Little Miss Sunshine and My Sister's Keeper, and save her from these sorts of projects?

That is all.

Listening [yes, friends, I'm reinstatin' this category] 🎶👂

... to a lotta summer🧀: it's the most appropriate season of the year to play all the cheese, let me tell you: Endless Summer Nights?

Summer of '69?

Dancing on the Ceiling?

Ketchup Song?

OK, has there ever actually been a good time for the Ketchup Song since about 2003? Probably not.

Hanging Out 👩👩👩👩👨🥞🥓💜

... with the Breakfast Coven (so much cooler than the Breakfast Club, fyi). Big ups due to Jess, Jenny and ...


{This stoopid kitten got mad DJ skillz | and ... this is making my eyes go funny.}

I have exactly two photos on my phone from Saturday morning and they're both a bit gloomy lightwise (since our girl was sitting with her back to the daylight!) so I shall just leave this characteristically Cool Charlie photo here:


along with your birthday number one:

Always good to hang out with the girls of a Saturday morning and ready oneself for the weekend with some hard carbs and sugar.

And lest I forget, a big-up is due, of course, to honorary Coven King, Al!

Being D.I.S.C.O. 💃🎉

... at church friend Celia's birthday party over at the church hall; sadly, yet again, no photos exist of the event itself as I was too busy a) helping set up, b) trying to get my peacock blue eyeshadow on point and my glitter socks on under my strappy shoes; then c) tearing it up on the dance floor; so if any of my St Matt's family has any shots for me to slot in at a later date please do let me know.

But in the meantime,
Belated birthday wishes to Celia!

Watching the Parade 🎈🎈🎈😎

On Sunday I shimmied on down to the ol' hometown to a) hang out with the ol' man on Fudder's Day (which meant we both sat outside reading in near silence, there were nuts and there was gin

and then we drank wine); and b) see Ma QB parading in the local carnival.

Excellent weather for it; so excellent that yes, I am of lobster hue now

but let's not get onto that.

Here is some rather fabulous footage of the carnival if this sort of thing is Your Bag (look out for Ma QB around the 2.38 mark).

Oh and yes, lest I forget: this is the Ol' Man, enjoying Farver's Day the Pa QB way. Bless 'im.

Pinterest Pins of the Fortnight 📌

Fortnightly Web Finds 🕸🔎


• Why do pedants pedant? Why do birds sing? Why do fools fall in love? Why do I ask why? 'Cos we're magnificent. End of. | on Guardian | via the Society for Editors and Proofreaders

Famous typos | also on Guardian | and also via the SfEP

This gymnastics routine is just phenomenal. (Don't pay attention to the 'clickbaity' titles; this video is worth so much more) | on YouTube/The Daily Quicky | via Overheard in Waitrose and originally posted here

Warning: please try to remember to breathe while you watch this!
Another warning: don't try this at home.

And yes, I worry for these gymnasts' backs when they're older. But right now ... whooooooa.


• People having fun with sculptures | on The Daily Quicky | Just ... ignore the dodgy grammar

Not sure where the slight obsession with Jimmy Fallon kicked in but I love this:

Google Translate Songs (with Anne Hathaway)

Pete, Åse: I demand a reprise of the last song in this mix but with the translated lyrics. And ... go!

And finally, because, I think I may need some gin to help me make sense of this:

The Chicken Yodelling Song. Yep. | on YouTube

With thanks to Birthday Girl Charlie for this treat. Whatever it may be! Ma QB, perhaps that's what Ginger needs. To be yodelled to. Yep.

That's all for now. I will try and take more photos of stuff next time round so I can at least testify to my presence at these events I purport to attend.

Stay cool, peeps.

qb xx

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